Knowing
by Chelbi
Summary: His mask cracks slightly as he takes his first few steps down the concrete, watching Kurt's face keep on smiling as all his friends welcome him back. 'Maybe this will be harder than I thought...'  Blaine's point of view during SOWK.


A/N: Thank you _so much_ to everyone that has favorited or commented on my last two Klaine stories! They each mean so much to me, especially since I'm new to the Glee fanfic family. This was the fic I originally meant to write, but those other scenes just called out to me first. Haha! This didn't come out exactly as planned, but I still think it's a pretty good representation of what I was thinking watching this scene. Anyway, thanks for reading/commenting, and I hope you like this one as well!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

He has a watch in his pocket. Wes is wearing one. Hell, there's a tall clock standing three yards to his left.

Blaine refuses to look at any of them.

He knows he needs to; he needs to know what time it is so they're sure of when to go and that they'll be on time. But he can't bring himself to. Because as soon as those hands point up, as soon as those clocks strike noon… It will be official. Kurt will have transferred back to McKinley.

Kurt will be _gone_.

Blaine supports this decision. He's over the moon that Kurt feels safe enough to return to his friends, and to the school he originally knew…. Really, it's where he belongs. And Blaine knows that. But he never agreed to be happy watching Kurt walk away.

Wes taps his shoulder lightly. He swallows thickly and forces his mask on tighter, looking up to smile at the other boy. Wes smiles back knowingly and makes a vague gesture at his watch; Blaine nods and slowly walks toward the stairs. He looks down into the mess of kids and picks Kurt out instantly - he'd know that fashion sense anywhere. His mask cracks slightly as he takes his first few steps down the concrete, watching Kurt's face keep on smiling as all his friends welcome him back.

'Maybe this will be harder than I thought…' he thinks brokenly as Mercedes says something and brings the group's attention onto him.

"Kurt," he opens, and thank God he can maintain his composure at least for this bit, "Dalton is going to miss you. You were a great addition to the Warblers, and… you made us a better team." He can feel himself choking up, he can feel his heart rising into his throat, but he already had this speech planned out and he'd been damned if he couldn't finish it. "I'm sad to see you go," he endures, and then looks to his friends as he speaks, if only so he can look away from Kurt's face and maybe regain his mask, "but we all know this is something you really want."

His voice is definitely shaking now. He doesn't know how to make it stop. The only way to make it stop is to stop talking, and he can't do that. "And I'll still have you after school and on the weekends," he says, and he can almost hear the question underlying his own words - _he will, won't he, Kurt won't just disappear back into New Directions and completely leave him behind, right, he'll still get to see him _- "But these guys won't, so… we wanted to say goodbye."

"And thank you, Kurt," Wes adds, and Blaine is so incredibly thankful because it gives him enough time to straighten out his voice so at least he can sing properly.

He takes a breath, and begins to sing.

He's staring right into Kurt's eyes, and suddenly even his performance mask has cracked, he can feel every emotion bubbling to the surface. The fear, the love, the hope, the pain, the loss begin to overwhelm him and before he knows it his eyes are swimming, he can only see the shapes of his fellow Warblers as they surround him, stepping in sync down the concrete stairs.

And yet, he can still see Kurt perfectly. Kurt, who is staring at him in awe, the hint of a smile on his face, eyes tinged with sadness. It's the sadness that gets to Blaine, and he sings his next line with a bit more emphasis than he meant to, "_So tell me when you're gonna let me in…"_ And Kurt is bouncing a little with the beat of the song and Blaine can feel the tears wetting his lashes and he has to do something, anything, to make Kurt see and feel and _understand_ all of what Blaine is feeling, and so he runs down to the piano and starts banging on the keys as they reach the chorus.

"_So if you have a minute why don't we go talk about it somewhere only we know?_" he asks, and as he looks up he sees Kurt surrounded by friends, all of whom are smiling broadly, and Kurt is lifted on the stairs just out of his reach, almost like that first day they'd met on the stairs at Dalton. "_This could be the end of everything_…" If he hadn't been singing, his voice would have broken.

That was the entire point of this song, wasn't it? Blaine didn't like change. He didn't like being forced out of what was normal and comfortable and easily understood. When he first met Kurt he knew he was different, because he was instantaneously honest with Blaine and didn't immediately fall for the front that he always put on. That change was different, but not altogether unwelcome. Blaine found himself wanting to spend more and more time with Kurt, because he had missed that sort of honesty, had almost forgotten a time when someone could be so blunt to him, when he could be just as straightforward. And by the time Blaine finally realized that he had somehow skipped from friendship straight into romance territory, it was time for him to disappear, he had to leave and go back to McKinley.

Now what was Blaine left with?

"_… so why don't we go somewhere only we know_?" He leaves the piano, walking slowly up to Kurt, watching the boy's smile widen as he does so. He climbs a few stairs and holds out his hands, smiling past the tears, and Kurt takes them and together they descend again, Kurt's face elated and slightly teary as Blaine again pulls back and the rest of the Warblers move in to hug their disbanding member.

Watching his classmates say goodbye, hugging Kurt or clapping him on the shoulder, was the last straw, and Blaine belted out his notes above the group with every bit of energy in him, letting his agony mingle with his joy and float off into the bright blue sky. Kurt's eyes were definitely misty now, as he turned to hug his step-brother and best friend, and then his eyes were returned to Blaine's.

"_Somewhere only we know…_" Kurt looks down, exhaling a small breath, and then back up, and only the control he's exercised for how many years keeps Blaine from breaking down then and there. "_Somewhere only we know…" _He opens his mouth, because he feels like he needs to say something - does Kurt understand, does he know that he isn't trying to be clingy and that he's genuinely happy for him but this is one of the hardest things he's ever had to do in his life, does Kurt understand that, does Kurt know that he's completely -

Just like that, Kurt has taken two large strides toward him and thrown his arms around his shoulders. Blaine wraps his arms around him too, and holds on for dear life, squeezing his eyes shut to stop himself from crying, and why can't they just stay like this forever -

"I'm never saying goodbye to you."

The words are soft, whispered into his ear, but they're enough. They're perfect, even. His grip relaxes on Kurt's back, and they pull apart. Blaine looks up at Kurt, and those words and that look in his eyes is all he needs to see to realize that yes, Kurt understood, Kurt knows, and _nothing is going to change, Blaine, nothing_.

He smiles, and Kurt does too, and then he turns away before he can say anything stupid and ruin the moment. Brittany smiles at him as he passes and so he pats her arm, heart still tight in his throat so he can't speak. He climbs the stairs slowly, hearing the other Warblers following him, and pauses near the top. He turns around, and looks back.

Kurt's friends have instantly surrounded him again, smiling and laughing and replacing his top hat, and Kurt is smiling so broadly Blaine can't help but feel his happiness too, and he knows this is where Kurt belongs, and for the most part he knows that Kurt's right, nothing is going to change because of it.

And yet, when he returns to the halls of Dalton Academy that afternoon, everything seems just a little bit colder, a little more empty. 'But he's happy,' he tells himself, settling down with his history book and forcing himself not to doodle in the margins. 'He's happy, and that's what matters most.' He begins writing the answers to his assignment.

Held tightly in hand, the pen shakes.


End file.
